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My Love Affair with Fuckboys

My Love Affair with Fuckboys

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Sai De Silva
Jul 06, 2025
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My Love Affair with Fuckboys
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My toxic obsession…

I remember my 20s like it was yesterday.

Nights filled with loud music, the thud of liquor bottles against my body as I slung drinks behind the bar. I met new people every single night, and life was… exciting, to say the least. The faster I made bartending tips, the faster I spent them. I was carefree, reckless, and gave zero fucks. Blindly optimistic a trait I still carry to this day.

Some nights I’d walk away with $3,000 in tips, other nights? Zero dollars, zero cents, and a hangover. Bartending was a gamble, but it made me feel like I was my own boss.

And then, of course, there were the men. Endless options. I had zero interest in a monogamous relationship in my 20s. I craved new adventures, and I knew I had choices. Meeting men felt like a sport, I friend-zoned most of them, but I loved the attention. But the ones who really hooked me? Toxic.

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Emotionally unavailable men were my poison of choice. The guy who adored me in person and ghosted me the second I left the room? That’s the one I wanted. It was a challenge, and I lived for the chase.

I remember the exact night I met the most toxic man of them all. The one who was my kryptonite…

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